The Waiting Season

In my rundown Brooklyn apartment, not your picturesque Williamsburg or the up and coming streets of Bushwick, but in the crevices of East New York there were so many days I would ask myself, “how did I get here?” This neighborhood was never grand or luxurious but over the years had turned into something that even the poorest man could not fathom.

My living situation with my boyfriend and his mother was never meant to be long-term, but a temporary home. I allowed life to past by and what was initially a 6-month agreement was closely approaching 4-years. I had decided 2 years in that I needed to start to change the way I looked at life and my future. BUT DAMN, no one ever told me change took this long.

From fixing my credit, changing careers, dismissing relationships, and trying to adapt to the role of an understanding girlfriend my plate was just about full.

Let’s not add earning a masters, figuring out how to change my mindset, and building generational wealth on top of that.

None of my goals had an easy path to success. I always had to do everything step by step. It seemed like those around me were reaching their goals quickly and living their best life.

It took me years to realize that what I was doing wrong was looking at others success and comparing it to my life.

By doing this, it led me down a path of quitting a career without a backup plan, removing all my “friends” from my life, ghosting my social media platforms, and putting myself into this long term hiatus.

I created barriers for myself and trapped myself in a mental space of thinking in order to prosper in life, I have to struggle. I was trying to build a dream with no financial stability. I felt like I was tearing apart who I was a the very core and blaming all my mishaps and horrible circumstances on God. I would constantly question my life without realizing I used my “free will” and made all my decisions with consulting him first. It was not his fault I was broke, uncertain, and living in one of New York’s poorest neighborhoods. I was in my current situation because of me and no one else.

It takes YEARS to change a FUCKED UP situation.

I guess the saying is true, “the deeper the hole, the greater the climb,” & trust me I am still CLIMBING. It did not dawn on me that I would experience the greatest change of my life during a time when the WHOLE world was broke and uncertain.

Last Saturday afternoon, the day before my birthday, I received an email that could possibly make all this climbing worth while. I had applied for an entry level position for a Fortune 500 company thinking to myself, “they have thousands of applications, what is the chance of a recruiter/HR choosing mine.” But they did! I was invited to interview for the role that Monday afternoon. Good thing I had already taken Monday off work for an extended birthday weekend.

The nerves overcame my body and I experienced thrill and uncertainty at a whole new high. I spent most of my Sunday prepping for the interview and reviewing the company’s website. On Monday, I was prepared to take my call and waited patiently for the recruiter to give me a ring. His voice was jolly and cheerful and simply helped to remove whatever lingering nerves were still present. Of course it would not be a real interview if he did not start with the infamous question, “Tell me about yourself.” I simply gave an answer around my current role and the projects and responsibilities I dealt with on a day to day. Imagine my shock when being told I was over qualified for the position. But instead he wanted to refer me to a better position that fits my career history and would really take my career to the next level. He assured me I would a perfect fit for the role and should email him dates and times I can interview again. He wrapped up the interview with some pointers and answered all my questions and told me he would be in touch.

I thought to myself, “this is it!” The stepping stone to truly turning my life around.

Regardless of the decision, this opportunity has shown me hard work, dedication, and a whole lot of prayer comes a long way and there is no one stopping your progress. Get out of your own way & take a leap of FAITH and make that change!!

~Rae Nicole

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